Tears & Laughter
It’s amazing to me that we can feel the weight of pain and a deep sense of joy simultaneously. We can have tears streaming down our cheeks, but laugh in the midst of it all, remembering the sweet parts of life. It’s been a reocurring theme this semester, and I can’t say I’m the best at navigating these seemingly contradicting emotions, but I can say I’m learning. The day after the students left, I sat on my couch and reflected on the beautiful work the Lord had done in our lives the past 4 months. It was one of those,"tears streaming down my face while laughing in the midst of it all" moments.
This semester was one of the most beautiful and challenging seasons in my life. I was able to wake up every day, excited to hear the seven voices of the lovely women living in our house.Those voices were a daily reminder that my dream job was a reality. If I didn’t hear those sweet voices, I’d go wake them up. To their *slight* irritation and my absolute delight, I would jump in their beds, snuggle up against them and ask (or tell) them to get up and hangout with me. (Who doesn’t want an RC like that?). From the everyday homework to the beautiful trips across Ecuador, these students became my home away from home and the reason for the smile that hardly left my face. They represented the body of Christ well by sharing in the highs and lows of life with me and with each other.
The job itself is an absolute dream, but not everything about this semester was easy. In fact, this season held some of the most trying times in my life. A month into the semester, I learned my dad had a massive tumor in his abdomen that doctors said was cancerous*. I was angry and felt so weak – physically, emotionally and mentally. Just months before, I had walked through a very similar situation with my mom. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer only a year before, and I had to watch her endure chemo, radiation and the daily mental battle that comes with it all. It had only been two months since we received news she was in remission when we found that my dad had a tumor. I was a wreck; I felt so helpless being in another country. I knew I couldn’t do anything to fix it, but desired so desperately to be in his presence, to give him a hug, to laugh with him face to face – not just over Facetime. In that time of weakness, as I was learning to lead the women in my house, I found that they were there to encourage and help carry my burden. The weight was heavy, but with their help and the support of the other staff, the burden felt lighter and more manageable. It didn’t take away my desire to see my Papa, it didn’t take away the tears and the fear that I may lose him, but it served as an encouragement and a reminder of the Lord’s love. It reminded me that the Lord sits with us in our grief, He weeps with us in the heartache and He deeply, deeply loves us the entire way through. I was able to witness that through each person who surrounded me during that time. It was difficult and it was beautiful. It’s funny how it can be both simultaneously.
Through each step, I saw our house grow closer; I saw these young women become honest with difficult things in their own life. I learned to share in the joy of walking with them through their seasons. It’s an incredible thing to witness and experience the body of Christ. As a house, we learned to mourn with those who mourn, and rejoice with those who rejoice. We learned to share our hard parts of life, as well as laugh with each other over the funny stories throughout our day. I count it one of my greatest joys to be invited into the lives of these women, to have the Lord honor and bless me with 7 incredible souls. Words can hardly express my gratitude, but ladies of Paxi, Fall semester 2017, know that I am extremely thankful for you all. You’ve taught me so much in a matter of months and I am more in awe of the Lord because of you. Thank you for the best job I could’ve possibly imagined, and thank you for making our house a home. I love you all deeply.
*And for all of you still wondering about my Papa and how things are going now, here’s an update:
The doctors were able to set up a surgery shortly after finding the tumor, and I was able to fly home for 10 days to spend time with my family and be there for the surgery. Despite its high risk, the doctors were able to completely remove the tumor. I was able to return to Ecuador knowing my Papa was doing well and in the process of healing. After being back in Ecuador for a couple of weeks, I received a call from my parents letting me know that test results had come back...the tumor was benign!!
Our family is extremely grateful and have learned to cherish life in a new way. Thank you for all those who loved and prayed for us along the way; God used you to hold us up in our hardest time.
